A Better Day

So far, while I’m still not feeling all that well, today is better day. Darren came today; even if he was late. At least I got the satisfaction of calling his now gone beard scruffy to get him for being late again. I know, sometimes I’m just too easily amused, but I did think the whole thing pretty funny.

 

Otherwise, I’m working on putting a plan together for getting my writing and other varied projects done. Sometimes, because my energy is not what I’d like it to be, getting much done can be a challenge. I also have something of a tendency to try to do too many things at once. Part of the problem is that my mind gets going in too many directions at once.

 

Knowing just how short my time may be gives me even more a reason to try to get everything done quickly, but it also gives me a reason to focus. If I get too scattered, I won’t get anything done right. I don’t have the time to do a million things over; I have to focus enough to do what I need to well in the first place.

Life’s Trials and Friendships

Today has been a very rough day for me. Dad left for a contract in Minnesota, Mom’s heart has been acting up a lot, and I’m still reeling from the prospect of my life being half over.

 

I’m not the most social person in the world, but being inside a lot has been really getting to me. I went for my walk today. I try to get out every day if I can, but some days the weather is too bad, I’m in too much pain, or both.

 

My life, on the whole, has been in an almost perpetual state of upheaval for as long as I can remember. Much of that time has been spent more or less alone. We moved far too often to really settle in, so I have been largely alone. However, recently things have started to change.

 

Recently I found a real friend; his name is Darren. He still hasn’t run, even with the realization of just how dysfunctional my life really is. Mama Bear has been all sorts of nervous about what exactly his intentions are toward her cub, but I’m firmly of the belief that she is worrying about a whole lot of nothing. All I know is that I’m not afraid to be real with him. That is a gift far more precious to me than he will likely ever know.

 

I didn’t see him today; maybe tomorrow.

Mortality and Dreams

With Randy Pausch’s passing, I have been thinking a lot about what my life is going to be about and what my legacy will be when I’m gone.

 

While I’m only 23, if I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome as my doctors have told me, I may not have all that much time left. The median age of someone with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome is 48 years. This means my life could be nearly half over. I may not have the time to do all the things that I want to, but when I do die, I want to know my life has mattered.

 

Randy Pausch made a list of his childhood dreams. This is a list of the dreams I have. In some ways they are tempered by the realization of the importance of the little things in life.

• Publish a book of poetry
• Publish ebooks on education
• Publish in a major education magazine
• Publish in a major psychology magazine
• Meet Richard Dean Anderson

As you can see, the big thing to me is my writing. Not so much for the immortality of the written word, as for the simple fact that there is so much I want to share with the world. I don’t know what, if any of the things on this list will ever come true, but the dream alone is reason enough to keep plugging along.

Changing the World

I know it has been quite some time since I wrote last. As of late, I have been working on writing ebooks on education. The more I delve into this rather daunting project, the more I realize the need for writing these books.

 

There is so much that the children in this country are just not getting in school. So much that they need on every level that they are just not getting. My hope is to at least make people aware of the problem and what can be done about it.

 

I feel a great sense of responsibility for what I write. It may seem a bit self-important, but I want these books to change the world. The children are at stake.