The Value of Life

The weaker I get, the less I think about what I want to have, and the more I think about what I want my legacy to be.

 

With all the moving, I have never had a place to call home. I want a home, but more than that I want to be home. Home is more than ownership of a piece of dirt. Home is that sense of belonging; I have never really felt like I belonged anywhere.

 

There was a time I thought when I grew up, all that would change. If I could just get out on my own, I could have the stability I was missing. Maybe in some very limited way that is true, but it is also not that simple.

 

Getting out does not automatically solve the problem. Does my sense of belonging stem purely from external acceptance or does it also come from my own acceptance of myself. If I don’t believe I am acceptable, I will project timidity and withdraw at the first sign if resistance.

 

Yes, I have been deeply wounded. Yes, I am scared. Yes, there are times I would very much like to run for the hills, but what would be my legacy then?

 

I want to be remembered for the strength with which I faced the hard road I have walked. I want people, when they look back at my life, to say “She gave it her all. She cared when no one else would. She changed my life.”

 

If I can have that, all the pain I have endured will have been worth it.

What is Fair Pay?

The question came up as to what constitutes fair pay for freelancers in a global market.

 

While a case could be made that freelancers in less developed nations don’t mind pay significantly less than what their U.S. counterparts receive for the same work, I don’t see why that has to be the case.

 

If I were to offer a project to someone in a less developed nation, I would pay them the same amount I would pay to someone here in the U.S.

 

Obviously, if the employer is in a less developed nation, they wouldn’t be able to offer as much. Here in lies the problem. If freelancers in less developed nations start demanding U.S. wages they will drive employers in their own countries out of business, if they don’t it can send the global market into a tailspin.

 

For myself, I intend to only apply for projects that pay well enough to meet my needs. The amount that is enough is different for each person; there is no way to come up with a one-size-fits-all solution.

 

For this to work there needs to be enough of a mix of pay rates to allow everyone, regardless of nation, to be adequately paid.

What I’ve Been Up To All This Time

I know it’s been a very long time since I posted last; I’ve been extraordinarily busy and in a lot of pain.

 

I’ve been trying to learn everything I can about citation methods, the business side of writing, and, in general, trying to figure out where my life is going.

 

It’s hard to plan much when my health is deteriorating at such a rapid rate, but if I don’t look to the future what’s the point in living.

 

I want whatever I do to make a difference. For all those that still need me, I live.